BRAIN ALERT & PSYCHOLOGY

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What Is Your Attachment Style ?

Secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—which one are you?

credit: Alison Kerry

Table of Contents

This free 15-question quiz briefly assesses emotions linked to the four primary attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. It is not a clinical or medical assessment and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice.

Attachment style Quiz

What's Your Attachment Style?

Choose the option that best describes how you usually feel or behave in close relationships.

  1. 1. When I'm in a relationship, I worry my partner will stop loving me.

  2. 2. I find it hard to fully trust others.

  3. 3. I’m comfortable depending on others and having them depend on me.

  4. 4. I often fear that my partner will abandon me.

  5. 5. I find it difficult to express my emotions openly.

  6. 6. I feel uneasy when someone gets too close to me.

  7. 7. I often need reassurance that I’m loved and valued.

  8. 8. I feel okay being alone or independent.

  9. 9. I have a hard time trusting even close friends or partners.

  10. 10. I push people away when they try to get emotionally close.

  11. 11. I need a lot of closeness and intimacy in my relationships.

  12. 12. I sometimes behave erratically in relationships (clingy one moment, distant the next).

  13. 13. I feel relaxed and comfortable in most close relationships.

  14. 14. I worry that if I show my true feelings, others will leave me.

  15. 15. I feel confused or conflicted about close relationships.

The Four Attachment Styles

  1. Secure Attachment:

    People with a secure attachment style tend to form strong, healthy long-term relationships. This style is typically linked to positive self-esteem, the ability to maintain close connections, seek support, and openly express emotions.

    In simple terms, secure attachment is what many people strive for.

    Children who develop this attachment style usually had caregivers who were responsive to their needs. These children felt safe, loved, and understood. When they were frightened, they looked for comfort from their caregiver and preferred them over unfamiliar people.

  2. Anxious or Ambivalent Attachment:

    Anxious attachment, also known as ambivalent attachment, is a form of insecure attachment. People with this style often struggle with getting close to others and may frequently worry about whether their romantic partner truly loves them.

    While breakups are challenging for anyone, they can be particularly tough for individuals with anxious attachment.

    Children with ambivalent attachment often show distrust toward strangers and become upset when separated from their caregiver. However, unlike securely attached children, they usually aren’t comforted by the caregiver’s return and may even resist being soothed

  3. Avoidant Attachment:

    The avoidant attachment style is characterized by difficulties with closeness and forming intimate relationships. If you identify with this style, you might struggle to open up emotionally or express your thoughts and feelings to others, which can lead to challenges with intimacy.

    At times, this behavior may resemble what’s often referred to as “commitment phobia.”

    People with an avoidant attachment style may not emotionally invest in relationships to the same degree as others, and are often less affected when a relationship ends. While this might seem like an effective way to avoid emotional pain (and to some extent, it is), it can also stand in the way of building deep, lasting connections.

    Children who develop an avoidant attachment style often had emotionally unavailable caregivers. They may have learned to rely on themselves because they couldn’t depend on a parent or guardian. As a result, these children might show little preference between a caregiver and a stranger, and may even avoid caregivers altogethe

  4. Disorganized Attachment:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     A disorganized attachment style involves a combination of conflicting behaviors. Someone with this style may be overly clingy at times and emotionally withdrawn at others. It often develops in response to caregivers who were abusive or neglectful. A child with this attachment style may experience both fear and comfort toward a caregiver, leading to confusion

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